SML and I took a break from the fourth season of ‘Six Feet Under’ Saturday afternoon to visit the New England Sand Castle Festival. I’ve always wanted to visit something like this and even said to SML when we arrived, “I’ve always wanted to see something like this in real life.” I really do talk like this, like nothing is real unless I’ve seen it first hand.

We took the subway to the beach, both of us firing up our iPhones and losing ourselves in Tweets and RSS, something we do to pass the time as the train fights Commonwealth Avenue traffic. I raised my eyebrows and put my phone away when the man in front of us turned to face us and explained that 90% of the time that he gets on the train someone is either shuffling their feet or talking around him. Yapping, actually, is what he said.

“The Greeks believed in it too.” He said, referring to the gods and spirits that are constantly attacking him. He showed us his statistics, a pile of cards with scribbles in what I assume were his mathematical calculations of foot shuffling and yapping. “Tom Watson believes in it too, believes that the Gods of Golf will help him win the British Open.”

I wanted more than anything to look at SML and begin giggling. A couple of scenarios went through my head however, and I decided laughing at a crazy person could end in disaster. And who the hell is Tom Watson anyway? Am I supposed to be keeping up on golf now?

“What do you think of all of this?” he finally said, after making it clear that his many Gods are basically puppeteers, pulling strings; causing paranoid schizophrenics to sit near me on the subway.

“I don’t know anything about that.” I said, turning to SML.

“Well.” And then SML grinned. “ I just don’t see how there could be any other explanation.”

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